Posted by Molli Nickell, Granny Guerrilla
Once upon a time, two high school buddies, Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak, decided they could build a graphics-friendly home computer. They set up shop in the Wozniak family garage, hand-crafted 50 computers and sold them to a retail computer outlet. When the computers sold quickly, Steve and Steve realized their product had potential. They needed capital (money) to expand production. A successful businessman co-signed a bank loan for a $250,000 cash infusion that enabled Steve and Steve, in 1976, to officially establish Apple Computer. Now, 37 years later, Apple is valued at $651.51 BILLION dollars and has generated hundreds of products and thousands of jobs all over the world.
Could these two entrepreneurs duplicate their business success today in America? HAHAHA! Are you kidding?
Fast forward to 2013. The Wozniak family own their home and property and have the Constitutional right to use it as they wish. The government doesn’t agree. In order to operate a two-person business in a residential garage, Steve and Steve are required to re-zone the hood, obtain multiple permits for this and that, and pay hundreds of dollars in fees.
Uncle SCAM sends an inspector from OSHA (Occupational Safety and Health Administration) to evaluate the workplace, lunchroom/mom’s kitchen, and employee/guest bathroom to be sure government standards are being met. OSHA determines the environment is satisfactory and approves access for all company personnel (meaning Steve and Steve).
The OSHA inspector also determines that the most up-to-date and correct permits,business licenses, safety and grievance procedures are posted at the correct height in the correct space on their correct bulletin board which is correctly attached to the correct wall stud. Not too high, not too low, but just right and in accordance with OSHA rules.
Steve and Steve are mandated to install a double-locked storage cabinet for hazardous garage equipment like rakes and hedge clippers in order to prevent unauthorized access and potentially harmful use by a potential future employee with potential emotional issues and the potential to go postal.
OSHA rules require that resident rodent eradicators (like the family cat who has unlimited access to the garage/office/workspace), be properly licensed and checked for fleas and other vermin. When Tabby is observed catching and killing an errant mouse, Steve and Steve are required to file a wrongful death report. This generates a visit from PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) who demand the use of humane traps, and require Tabby to attend a “Capture and Release” seminar in Las Vegas, co-sponsored by the GSA (Government Service Agency).
Despite wasting non-productive hours filling out useless OSHA reports and excessive government forms of every type imaginable, Apple’s sales increase until it becomes necessary to hire several employees and occupy a larger production facility.
However, this bank is closed due to depleted savings and 401(k) retirement accounts. Both mom and dad are restricted to part-time work and must purchase government-approved health insurance that costs 50 to 75% more than before.
So, Steve and Steve, along with Mom and Dad and assorted relatives and friends, locate part-time jobs flippin’ burgers and stocking Walmart shelves to generate expansion capital. Their hard work pays off. They accumulate what they need, move their facility to an industrial park and hire workers.
All goes well until Steve and Steve hire their 51st employee.
“Knock! Knock!” (And no, it’s not Avon calling.) It’s the IRS arriving to exercise the Supreme-Court-granted right to collect health insurance taxes. The agent demands proof of government-approved coverage, then sets about fingerprinting and DNA mouth swabbing all employees. When Steve and Steve object to this un-Constitutional action, the IRS agent quotes the president, “Constitution? We don’t need no stinkin’ Constitution.”
By this time, Steve and Steve realize the extent of ongoing government surveillance by the IRS and OSHA, and the profit-eating nature of having to provide health insurance for all employees. They close up shop.
Their former employees trek down to the government-run unemployment office looking for jobs. A counselor advises them to exercise their Constitutional Rights for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, and signs them up for welfare, food stamps, disability, and cell phones.
Meanwhile, back in the Wozniak garage, ever-creative Steve and Steve invent the all-in-one-apple-pie-mixer-and-easy-bake oven. A trip to the Shark Tank TV program introduces Steve and Steve to Laurie who presents their apple-pie-mixer and-easy-bake oven to the Home Shopping Network. Their product launches with $3 MILLION dollars in initial orders which finances construction of production facilities in business-friendly Singapore.
Sound like a winning scenario? Not really. Because of un-Constitutional interference by a government on steroids, hundreds and thousands of jobs are not created, billions of dollars in personal income and tax revenue is never generated. The world eats apple pie instead of computing, phoning, texting, playing games, shooting videos, or reading books on Apple anything.
START THE CONVERSATION: Pass this politically incorrect fable on to a low-information voter, then ask if they believe government has the Constitutional right to control private sector business.
If you’d enjoy a sneak preview of Molli’s upcoming book, “Uncle SCAM Wants Your Money and Your Country,” to be published in August, CLICK HERE. A former publisher, Time-Life editor, motivational speaker, and author, Molli writes Politically Incorrect Fables to enlighten low-information voters, fire up patriots, and irritate progressives. Additional fables and daily rants are posted at www.grannyguerrillas.com