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Ann Coulter OPED: Ask Ann Anything! ACB Edition


Commentary by Ann Coulter Ann Coulter | Posted: Oct 14, 2020 5:20 PM

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
Ask Ann Anything! ACB Edition

Judge Amy Coney Barrett / Source: AP Photo/Susan Walsh

With the Amy Coney Barrett hearings in full swing this week, my mailbox has been overflowing with questions from absolutely no readers! Here, I will deliver the answers that no one asked for.

Q: How can you say it’s fair to fill the seat of a constitutional giant like Ruth Bader Ginsburg with this far-right, anti-choice, conservative woman?

A: You’re right, RBG had patience, will — and almost no black law clerks. One (1) black law clerk out of 160, to be precise. To borrow from my journalist colleagues, “Are you a white supremacist?”

Q: So you think it’s OK to just ignore her dying wish?

A: Touche! But you’ve forgotten that the Dying Wish clause of the Constitution is trumped by the Retire When a Democrat Is President clause. RBG was fully entitled to have a Democrat choose her replacement by retiring in 2014 when Obama was president and she was 81 years old, had already survived two bouts of cancer, two falls that broke her ribs and a heart operation. She chose not to.

Q: You’re seriously going to claim that ACB is the most qualified Supreme Court nominee?

A: Of course! Much like being a police chief in modern America, apparently the No. 1 qualification for this job is: being a woman. I don’t know when my party signed onto identity politics, but I’m not happy about it either. At least we didn’t end up with America’s leading “Karen,” Kamala Harris.

Q: So you think women shouldn’t run for president or sit on the Supreme Court?

A: Of course they should. But the way we should find them is not to decide Hey, let’s get a woman for this job! Anybody know one? Margaret Thatcher and Golda Meir didn’t become the leaders of their nations because someone said, Let’s find a woman!

Ironically, the Democrats’ best candidate for president this year actually was a woman, but unfortunately, Sen. Amy Klobuchar was not a woman of color. So now the Democrats are saddled with the smirking insufferableness of Kamala as their backup candidate to a guy with senile dementia.

Q: What are you talking about, Ann? Kamala is the best! She’s hip, she’s cool, she’s brilliant.

A: Yes, and she called Joe Biden a racist.

Q: She’s explained that! On Stephen Colbert’s show, she laughed it off, saying: “It was a debate!

A: Glad to get this on the record. So the official position of the Democratic Party is that it’s fine to falsely accuse a person of racism as long as it’s done to score political points. At least you guys don’t take racism accusations lightly.

Q: I’m a conservative, and I thought ACB was terrific at the hearings!

A: If there were an Olympic sport called “Keeping a Straight Face While Being Lectured by Morons,” ACB would take the gold. Though I might recommend that after repeatedly refusing to answer absurd hypotheticals by claiming, “I would need to hear arguments from the litigants and read briefs and consult with my law clerks and talk to my colleagues and go through the opinion-writing process,” maybe Barrett should not have prejudged a pending case by saying she cried when she saw the George Floyd video and citing it as an example of “hatred” and “racism.”

Instead of the George Washington and the Cherry Tree myth, I guess our new patriotic fable is the George Floyd Was Killed by a Racist Cop myth.

Q: My grandpa is in a relationship with a California hipster, and no one in the family knows what to do about it.

A: This isn’t really that kind of advice column, but at least we’re back to Kamala Harris.

Q: You Republicans are just terrified by a strong woman of color. Mike Pence constantly interrupted her at the vice presidential debate and Harris’ Republican colleagues in the Senate interrupt her all the time. There’s been gobs of press about it, including an article in The New York Times, “The Universal Phenomenon of Men Interrupting Women.”

A: My imaginary interlocutors are really obnoxious today.

1) According to ABC News’ Rick Klein, Harris had slightly more speaking time than Pence at the debate.

2) But I loved how the Biden-Harris campaign had “I’m still speaking!” T-shirts available for sale immediately following the debate. That didn’t look at all pre-planned.

3) As for senators interrupting Harris, try looking at the videos that are longer than one minute. Invariably, the reason she’s being interrupted is that she is rudely badgering a witness and not allowing him to answer. Yes or no! Yes or no! Please allow me to paint you into a corner by accepting all the ridiculous constraints of my question without further comment or explanation.

See the slightly longer videos here and here.

Q: But if ACB is confirmed, women will be forced into back-alley abortions!

A: Let me assure you that even if Roe v. Wade is ever overturned, in California, New York and other liberal states, you will still enjoy a right to abortion right up to birth (at least), and if the baby somehow still survives, you’ll be allowed to bash in his head in with an oxygen tank.

I don’t know what Democrats are so worried about, anyway. According to them, Americans LOVE Roe! Amy Klobuchar said at one of the Democratic debates this year, “The people are with us. Over 70% of the people support Roe v. Wade.”

Oddly, when I tried to locate this statistic on Google, I found endless polls claiming 70% of Americans support every left-wing policy — the entire Democratic agenda: legalizing pot; Medicare for all; amnesty for illegals, Black Lives Matter and on and on. All have 70% support!

So I’ve got good news for liberals: If these polls are accurate, you don’t need left-wing judicial activists concocting imaginary “constitutional rights” to get your way. Just pass laws, like in a democracy. On the other hand, the hysteria over RBG’s death and ACB’s nomination tells me that liberals don’t believe their own polls.

This Week’s Ann Coulter Letter: “Contract With Republicans”


Commentary by Ann Coulter

URL of the original posting site: http://humanevents.com/2017/08/02/contract-with-republicans/

In 1994, after 40 years in the wilderness, Republicans swept both houses of Congress, running on Newt Gingrich’s “Contract With America,” in which the GOP promised to hold votes on 10 popular policies in the first 100 days. They won, fulfilled the contract, and went on to control the House for more than a decade.

More recently, the country gave the GOP the House in 2010, the Senate in 2014 and the presidency in 2016. But we’re not seeing any difference. The GOP has become a ratchet, never reversing Democratic victories, but only confirming them with teeny-tiny alterations.

It’s time for the voters to issue a “Contract With Republicans.” Unless our elected representatives can complete these basic, simple tasks, we’re out. There will be no reason to care about the GOP, anymore.

Whether these objectives are accomplished by President Trump or a rhesus monkey, the Democrats, the Bull Moose Party or the U.S. Pirate Party — it will make no difference to us. We just need somebody to fulfill this contract in order to get our vote.

Here are our first three contract terms.

1) BUILD THE WALL

People said the chant, “Build the wall!” was mere shorthand for a whole slew of immigration policies, unified by the single idea of putting Americans’ interests if not “first,” then at least above the interests of complete strangers to whom we owe absolutely nothing.” It was called a term of art, meaning we want to stop sacrificing the welfare of our nation on the altar of liberal idiocy.

“Build the wall” was said to entail: a Muslim ban, deporting illegals, ending unconstitutional sanctuary cities, ending Obama’s unconstitutional “executive amnesty,” a dead-stop to the refugee scam and a massive reduction in legal immigration.

Yes, it means all that. But it also means: Build the wall.

If this is done only for reasons of conservative ideology, in recognition of the fact that the United States is a sovereign nation, entitled to protect its homeland, that’s fine with me.

But I note in passing that, if I were a progressive constantly virtue-signaling on transgenders and refugees, and occasionally pretending to care about African-Americans, the very last thing I’d want to see is the continuing dump of low-wage workers on the country, undermining black fathers’ ability to earn a living, to stay married and to pass down savings and a work ethic to their children.

The great civil rights hero Barbara Jordan understood that. The fact that our current low-rent liberals are unable to rise to her level is all the proof we need of their uselessness.

Moreover, in the future, we will once again have presidents with a taste for fascist executive orders, purporting to grant “amnesty” to illegal aliens. We will continue to have bought-and-paid-for legislators, pushing cheap labor in return for campaign donations. In the blink of an eye, they can undo every part of Trump’s America First agenda on immigration, just as Obama undid our victory in Iraq.

A wall is the only part of Trump’s immigration reforms that will not be instantly reversed by the next Barack Obama or George Bush. Allowing border patrol agents to do their jobs is a policy that lasts only as long as Trump is president. A wall is forever.

2) SUPREME COURT

Republicans need to stop having their victories written in wet sand. During the campaign, Trump vowed to impose a Muslim ban if elected; both political parties hysterically denounced him; he won the election; issued a highly modified, temporary travel restriction from a handful of majority Muslim countries; and … a handful of carefully selected federal court judges announced that, during the Trump administration, they would be implementing immigration policy.

That’s why President Trump must appoint, and the Senate confirm, brilliant conservative judges, preferably in their 30s and with good EKGs, so that they can keep issuing opinions well into their 90s.

As long as they are sufficiently vetted to ensure we’re getting no David Souters or Harriet Miers — vettings even MORE exhaustive than the alleged rectal probes given to the San Bernardino terrorists before admitting them to commit mass murder — Supreme Court justices can have nearly the same permanence as the wall.

3) STOP WASTING MONEY AND PRECIOUS LIVES ON POINTLESS WARS

The left is way ahead of us on this one, already hard at work turning the greatest military in the world into taxpayer-funded adventures in lesbianism and transgenderism. (Sorry, taxpayers! We gave your Social Security to mental-case penis-choppers.)

Every recent war has been counterproductive at best. At worst, they have been meat-grinders for our bravest young men. Imagine that some small portion of the trillions of dollars poured into the endless — and ongoing! — war in Afghanistan had been used to build a 100,000-seat soccer stadium in Baghdad. And then imagine that we built 100 more just like it, right next to one another.

If we had taken a satellite photo of all those stadiums filled to capacity, the caption would be: “Not one American life is worth all the lives pictured here.”

That’s not anti-Arab. I’m sure they would feel exactly the same. I would respond, “Yes, of course, you’re right to feel that way.”

If we’re ever attacked, we should be prepared to unload our full arsenal. But it’s not our job to create functioning democracies in primitive rape-based societies around the globe.

Apart from an attack on U.S. soil by a foreign country, we are going to live our lives, go to work, celebrate the Fourth of July, and never bother learning the difference in Sunni and Shia Arabs. Once a decade, when we fleetingly remember Yemen or Saudi Arabia, we will hope they’re doing well, then get back to our lives — surrounded by a wall and living in a constitutional democracy, where our greatest young men aren’t continually sacrificed in pointless wars.

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