By Thomas Whittington, Apple Valley, CA
Have you heard about the new STD virus? It was named for those afflicted with Stop Trump Derangement Syndrome. The symptoms are easy to spot. Just say the word “Trump” and those afflicted will start to convulse while foaming at the mouth, constantly repeating the word impeachment.
Biden has started his search for a running mate. In the name of diversity, he is seeking a one-armed, black, lesbian, Eskimo with a Hispanic surname.
The U.S. Navy has announced that it will not name a warship after Biden. They are afraid that it will never know which ocean it is sailing in.
Poor Bernie Sanders. His exploration team to pick a sight for his inauguration is in chaos. Jane Fonda will not attend unless it is held at the Hanoi Hilton. Raul Castro wants it held at the Revolutionary Palace in Havana. He has even picked a 1953 Chevy convertible for the parade.
Nicolas Maduro wanted to hold it in Caracas, with a salute to Che, Fidel, Stalin and Mao, but Bernie wanted a socialist/communist winner to be saluted, not a bunch of losers.
Good luck Bernie in finding Utopia for your inauguration.