It snowed all night long, so the morning went like this:
8:00 I made a snowman
8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.
8:15 So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 The neighbors’ nanny complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest.
8:20 The gay couple living nearby grumbled that it could have been two snowmen instead.
8:25 The vegans at No. 12 complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 I was called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 The Muslim gent across the road wanted the snow woman to wear a headscarf.
8:40 Someone called the cops who showed up to see what was going on.
8:42 I was told that the broomstick of the snowman needs to be removed because it could be used as a deadly weapon. Things got worse after I mutter : “Yeah, if it’s up your a**”
8:45 Local TV news crew showed up. I was asked if I knew the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, “Snowballs” and am called a sexist.
8:52 My phone was seized and thoroughly checked while I was blindfolded and flown to the police station in a helicopter.
9:00 I was in the news as a suspected terrorist bent on stirring up trouble during this difficult weather.
9:10 I was asked if I have any accomplices.
9:29 A little known jihadist group has claimed it was their plot.
There is no moral to this story. It’s just the America we live in today!