Perspectives; Thoughts; Comments; Opinions; Discussions

snowman

By Anonymous

It snowed all night long, so the morning went like this:

8:00 I made a snowman

8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.

8:15 So, I made a snow woman. 

8:17 The neighbors’ nanny complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest.

8:20 The gay couple living nearby grumbled that it could have been two snowmen instead.

8:25 The vegans at No. 12 complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 I was called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31 The Muslim gent across the road wanted the snow woman to wear a headscarf.

8:40 Someone called the cops who showed up to see what was going on.

8:42 I was told that the broomstick of the snowman needs to be removed because it could be used as a deadly weapon. Things got worse after I mutter : “Yeah, if it’s up your a**”

8:45 Local TV news crew showed up. I was asked if I knew the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, “Snowballs” and am called a sexist.

8:52 My phone was seized and thoroughly checked while I was blindfolded and flown to the police station in a helicopter.

9:00 I was in the news as a suspected terrorist bent on stirring up trouble during this difficult weather.

9:10 I was asked if I have any accomplices.

9:29 A little known jihadist group has claimed it was their plot.

There is no moral to this story. It’s just the America we live in today!

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